Letter 15

Let’s talk about texts, Baby

Dear Reader,

If you have ever received a text from me, I would like to apologize. A typo likely interrupted your reading of it. I was probably in the middle of multi-tasking, a personal flaw of mine that can work to my advantage as a mom and nursing assistant, but not if I need to pay attention to punctuation and the fresh hell that autocorrect is offering. 

In summary: I am a horrible texter. 

This is not a generational trend or a sign of aging. Plenty of Gen-Xers prefer texting and continually dazzle me with their finger dexterity and sophisticated meme use. No, this is a personal struggle. I use my pointer finger. I can spend many minutes adding *just* the right wording and inflection. My husband has at times taken the phone from me and hit the button with an encouraging, but firm “just send it” command.

One time I accidentally asked a group of moms if someone could grab a few sticks of butter on their way home because I was in the middle of baking. It was intended for Jason, who was out running errands. Another time I was trying to write, “whatever you think,” and it came out “whatever hunk” in a very awkward mixed group text. I can’t really explain it, but when I receive a text I feel a sense of urgency, sometimes warranted and sometimes not. This is probably a personal thing, but as an Upholder, a text is like a personal ask, and like other reactions, I am working on it.

Though it’s now a decade old, one article I found investigated social aspects of texting. It’s research concluded generalizations like that texting was ubiquitous and and now just part of everyday communication. It also concluded that it wasn’t necessarily someone feeling lonely and texting for company, but that often texts are sent in the presence of others. 

Recently we spent a few weeks on the road and I had worked to make sure that all communication regarding career, teaching, classes and extended family was tended to while traveling so I would not feel the need to check in on anything or interrupt the time away. However, it is not so easy to get away from group text strings, even when muting them. 

Except for backcountry and remote areas without cell range, the last places void of electronic forms of communication (at least for public and media) are federal courthouses, as I found when covering a sentencing for the New York Times. Security guards took my phone and laptop upon entering and the feeling was eerie, perhaps punctuated that my kids were alone at home and my husband out of town. The heaviness of the bone-chilling air conditioning to architecture to the authoritative presence of the federal prosecuting team could make a trip to the courthouse another reflection piece.

Texting, like my ability to reach higher objects at the grocery store, requires self awareness and creativity. And it really is a form of communication that can be explored in its own right. One of my favorite books in the last decade is Texts from Jane Eyre, which is a hilarious satire of what characters in classic literature might have texted to each other. 

So like all adventures I will put my best foot, finger, forward, push vulnerability aside and cautiously respond from my comfort zone in Email-Land. And possibly send a follow-up text with an asterisk correcting my previous error.

THX and LY for reading!!!

Traci